Moksha and Marriage(Well... The blog is named arbit(rary)!!)

Moksha…Yup…That’s what the doctor ordered…liberation from the cycle of life and death, which (apparently) is attained by the freedom of oneself from desires….Basically one has to want nothing…Funny huh....And here, our teachers mentors and (blech)self development professionals tell us that the key to living well is to set goals…that is …to know what we want..Try telling your Mom that you want nothing….you’ll get nothing but dry bred without any porridge(or is it the other way around) for the rest of the vacations….sheesh …life is confusing isn’t it…

What did the texts (and various sadhus and not to mention Gautam Buddha )mean by Moksha…freedom from desire…It’s all very well when people are giving you alms to listen to your famous set of Moksha lectures….can you imagine that….

Job description: Roaming the world teaching people about Moksha and renunciation

Daily takings: Well….a Stomach full and yeah...Enough cloth to cover it as well!!

Wow...is that going to make you a find in the marriage market or what..!!!

Speaking of marriage… is it a committed friendship or a friendly business partnership or just a socially accepted way to reproduce…. This is something I fear I’ll never get…on one hand….the institution of marriage (as it seems logical) was invented for the sake of limiting the sexual partners of a person for public health… ()or maybe to commit yourself to your wife/husband to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?

Or is it a way of earning money quicker…by sharing the rent and the capital goods (whose costs would be halved..: 1 washing machine, house, cooker, microwave, etc)so that one can earn and spend money effectively….but then…where did all the officialdom come in….basically the point of the matter being…why is commitment phobia a very real and very shunned social disorder…because in the end it comes to that…all of the above things can be ensured without the law having a say in it…that is except in the case of commitment phobes..And if these guys are anyway not going to have functional relationships….why the law??

And what about arranged versus love marriages….My mother and I regularly have raging arguments on this topic. My mother argues that if a person cannot find a suitable life partner within his circle of friends and associates…why; what better than some family friend (or acquaintance (smirk))No one’s forcing you to marry her…just see her, talk to her…and marry her only if you like her(sorry people for ignoring the girl’s free will….this situation is very obviously bilateral…just don’t feel like correcting it now…..I apologize to the ladies……and no, I’m not a chauvinist) And as for why one must marry….well …: one house one TV (maybe not 1 TV..) 1 washing machine !!(Yup….real practical is my Ma) And Of course …the experience of marriage is not to be missed!!!

“Ma..But it…it just seems weird …it’s very evident that free will is being eaten up at some point” I whine, partially convinced by her arguments and the large number of enormously successful arranged marriages I have seen…But...then gathering up all my revolutionary spirit and teenage angst I go on, gaining confidence as I speak, “It’s very obvious and logical that 2 people who know each other for a long time and who have met most probably because of some common interests have a greater chance of making their marriage a success than two people who have literally been thrown together…in a situation (generally) highly alien to them…After all we are talking about a pair of lovebirds and a crow +mynah couple….duh…the odds are obviously stacked on one side..”(Note: By now i have attained the size of a bull (or maybe pehle se hi?!)… Pleased at having identified the flaw in my mother’s reasoning!!) “But the fact remains that going on long walks and drives and cooing with another person (of the opposite sex…in general that is (wink)(no I’m not a homophobe either…)) is quite different from washing their underwear and doing their dishes and living with them….And that I know ….because I’m the mother and therefore older (since girls attain puberty at positive ages… !!!)(and hence wiser…)”

I am left sputtering in indignation…..

PS : I think the institution of marriage arose out of the genuine need (or rather desire) of people in love of living together…Kinda like…if people like hitting round things with flat things…you make rules and get cricket or tennis …..

PPS : I totally support the institution of marriage…I can’t help but say that for me…living with someone who I connect with...and who connects with me….working and playing as a team(as man and wife…or wife and man to make it fair(women’s lib)) is utopia……