I really really really wanted to write something today..on the first...The beginning of a new year marking....a new era in my life...of productivity... grindstones and facial protuberances that have a twin set of apertures and from which disgusting fluids may be secreted (by some) at will.....Of love(i hope) and hope(if nothing else !)....Basically..You get the idea..New year's resolution blah blah yak yak....
MS:I'm serious about this stuff...but hey..it makes for lousy reading !!
Actually..I thought bout a lot of different topics to write about..I thought about new year's resolutions...and then about dance and how it is thrust upon people who may not necessarily like it, even though the general populace does....and then go on to how today's world is all about one's impression on others and how the basic reasons for a lot of uncomfortable customs are not examined but ascribe them all to 'propriety'...and how that sucks....But then i thought another sarcasm dripping tirade would totally ruin my happyboy image...so i reined myself in and ventured once more,as i have previously on 3 other occasions into the region of mystery, the cave of alladin...Love and other natural 'calamities' (My image !!)..Now what i started thinking about was Commitment..And for those that thought that my previous post in this vein was 'gay' and all...well this is kind of a critique or rather....a study of motives and reasons....So here goes nothing...
I talked about commitment as necessary, post marriage...That it is essential for a normal, healthy life....Now, i think that there are some people who would have agreed with me without question and others, who would have thought that some ultra conservatives had brainwashed me...I have heard staunch proponents of both arguments...I have a surprisingly ( i think) conservative view but ..again..it's just a totally irrational view..So i thought.. lemme actually look at the how , why and most importantly the gray areas...So ..uhh..Ok..sorry..lost track of what i was going to say for a minute..
Marriage as i deduced ( and i think rightly so) arose from love..People were in love and wanted to formalise it ...legalise it..Me personally; i think it's a great idea so..i guess I'll work with that...Now the main part...the point of contention...is...Does love last forever....? Does it happen only once ? and the like..
Once one gets into a marriage (i know it sounds very ..'not romantic'..but that's just your perception..I'm perfectly unbiased(yeaaaah right...))monogamy is prescribed as a prophylactic to STD's....But then again...the basic premise that the institution of marriage is based upon...is that the two married people love each other...and if that itself is not true...well marriage in it's original, pure form( as i have deduced/assumed)...loses it's meaning...and hence i feel must be dissolved...However...even more basic is the question 'Does love last forever ?' and it's supplementary 'Does love happen only once?' ..Now..Again..here...a lot of guesses will have to be made....for these questions can only be answered by statistics(something..that i like to use in my arguments but have not too much faith in !)..I think that.. love ..as is the loved..is very clearly a geographically influenced phenomenon...There are a lot of people one may like a lot or rather..could like a lot ....but they will be scattered over the world...of course..one's local cultural influences will cause a lot of these people to be nearby ...( of course a complete antipathy towards one's birth-culture( which is very possible) would have the opposite effect.... but frankly there would be others with the same feelings..) Now...if one were to zoom out and view one's life's timeline..we would ( or could) meet people who we connect with at different stages of our life....Which of these people is the most 'in tune' with us..is purely a matter of luck...So first of all ...marriage must be thought out carefully..because no matter how much you love someone...you should keep in mind the fact that you may very well meet someone..even more 'endowed with endearing qualities'(:P)later in one's life...
I have seen happily married couples who are very similar and others who are very dissimilar...Again ...which pairing suits whom better is hard to say..but i would guess that..there would be a golden ratio of similarities and dissimilarities to make the perfect couple (since I'm quantifying similarities here one can safely assume this is all completely hypothetical...:D)So what i would perceive as a similarity dominated couple or a dissimilarity dominated couple would probably be slight disturbances to either side of the golden mean...
Now...how can one judge how perfect one's current pairing is and how likely is the chance of her/him meeting someone even better suited to him..I don't know..But the most obvious solution...that i can see (and I'm sure you can)..that of never committing ...and just going around taking free samples...(hmm..raspberry crush..and uhh....sunshine bonanza...and...mochalicious ..maybe i'll try cashew nut de leche...!!(Drool drool!))...be warned that it would be clearly unscrupulous and immoral to lick the spoon (Wink wink !)Again..to some this may seem like a perfect solution...but i think that..marriage and child rearing would be an essential part of a good life..so ...yeah..i'd have the strawberry shortcake flavour... (a Baskin robbins flavour of the month(Boohoo)...that i..seriously...fell in love with..(Bastards !))
In the case of the marriage decision..i think most couples rely ...at least a bit on the magic part of it..if they haven't been in other relationships before..then the magic part is very clear and easy...you have no standard to compare it with....so it's awesome...no matter what...in the other case..i think there's some other factor forcing marriage sometimes and in others..( maybe) there is the perception of a greater magic...Now..imagine that one (or both) of the participants in a marriage realises after X years of marriage...that it isn't working out...Should one..just get up and leave....I don't think so..I think ...that by marrying him/her... you have signed a covenant....you have made certain commitments and that it should not be too easy for you to just forgot about that..One goood idea woudl be to write down one's lovey dovey promises and 'I'll throw a lasso around the moon' isms...so that ...that magic may be recreated..so that at least ...one will remember that ...yes there was something...Maybe there still is...
P.S.: Today's world spawns a lot of relationships that are mere reactions to a fad...'Everyone does it..so will I'.. These commitments even, according to me should be more serious and better thought out than they are..
P.P.S.:People are so blinded by 'love' that they don't realise that when they say their wedding vows...they're supposed to mean them and think about them...before saying yes..like every promise...
P.P.P.S.:Of course..if one considers the fact that ....even marriage is just a bunch of rules in a game ( a sub game of sorts to life !)...and that some people manipulate those rules for some distant advantage...then yeah...some of those moves may well be really smart....
P.P.P.P.S.:Once again ..I couldn't help jacking up the sarcasm ..
P.P.P.P.P.S.:The probablity bit is really stupid..i mean..what if i'm thinking so much and making so many hypothetical comparisons that i will find her (oops) only when i'm 50 (PROSTATE !!)
Important..please read before continuing
The more serious posts are at the beginning of the blog. I ran out of good topics and started doodling :P
Unfortunately, they aren't written as well as the later posts. . .
Your choice
PS: It surprises me, how I have to validate every single thing I do. I mean, there was absolutely no reason for me to write this note, and even less, to write this postscript, or the postpostscript, that i will write after this one. Maybe, I do not like being misinterpreted. or maybe if there's any criticism that needs to be dished out, i'd rather do it myself.Or maybe i'm just a megalomaniac who wants to be all encompassing and always in a position to say: 'I told you so', even if the 'so' is some inherent flaw in me :P
PPS: Or maybe i just have too much free time, writing long posts to an imaginary audience. . . .
PPPS: Wait, that would be megalomania. . .
Unfortunately, they aren't written as well as the later posts. . .
Your choice
PS: It surprises me, how I have to validate every single thing I do. I mean, there was absolutely no reason for me to write this note, and even less, to write this postscript, or the postpostscript, that i will write after this one. Maybe, I do not like being misinterpreted. or maybe if there's any criticism that needs to be dished out, i'd rather do it myself.Or maybe i'm just a megalomaniac who wants to be all encompassing and always in a position to say: 'I told you so', even if the 'so' is some inherent flaw in me :P
PPS: Or maybe i just have too much free time, writing long posts to an imaginary audience. . . .
PPPS: Wait, that would be megalomania. . .
prohylactic to STDs.. :P
ReplyDeletesome things cant really be quantified. :)
I suggest you give a look at the stable matching algorithm. (probably google it or somthin)
haha... that was kind of a joke...a taster
ReplyDeletejust as eating every flavor in the ice cream shop is a sure shot recipe for disaster tr4ying to find every potential parrtner in the world is a recipe for disaster !!!!!!! satisfaction is a state of mind and not a factor of having experienced every single thing/person in the world ..!!! however imagination is a good tool to use when actual sampling is taboo !!!!!noone stops you from wondering........
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