POST MARRIAGE (WORKING TITLE : ARE YOU HAPPY NOW MOM ?!)

Coming back to the very popular (as discussed earlier…could be that I have a multiple personality disorder) topic of Love, marriage and the happily ever after ( or not…) I realize that I forgot to reflect upon the last phase of this highly intriguing topic… Commitment….This is the most controllable and hence the most important part of the whole ‘journey’ that is considered an important part of life…………

Love is the spark that starts it all (of course u have parents to strike the flint when there is no automatic combustion... (Read: arranged marriage))Marriage is the coal and lighter fluid that u have to start the blaze and finally the big logs that burn slightly later…that’s commitment....Commitment to your love; that spark that at one time seemed brighter than a thousand diamonds….but at some times may seem like it’s burning out….consuming itself….

Yep…commitment is verry important (Yes, Damn you word spell check! That extra r is for emphasis….) For, of what importance is the death of one mangal pandey if it does not lead to a revolution….Yes! It’s like a useless sacrifice…love without commitment….It is the death of the beautiful times that could have been, that should have been, but for a lack of patience or unwillingness to compromise….Compromise…there you have it….That’s all that’s required…and not just in marriage but in all aspects of life…And the one thing that surprises me most is how some people refuse to compromise…even in principle (and not practical…is what I mean)….

It’s like you fall in love with someone for who they are and what they do…you make plans and have dreams…..A house on the beach…with two kids and a dog…A getaway every month and long idyllic hours spent just cozying up by the fire..(My… My… is that delicious or what!!)But like all dreams…they go pop sooner or later…The bubble bursts and you’re left with a face full of washing powder….And yup…you spit in each other’s faces…Her eyes don’t seem all that blue anymore and her optimism sounds fake…and don’t tell me …you say he’s getting more depressing by the hour and that cute way that he used to talk to himself seems like the beginning of some multiple personality disorder….Yep…I see the signs…Suddenly the rose tinted glasses used for watching him/her and the world when in the company of the said angel…..shatter…..

Arguments over things as mundane as which movie to rent lead to ego bashing sessions…The trick is compromise….and the fact is that compromise begins or rather began long ago….There are people and I distinctly remember talking to someone with this view( don’t rem. who…) who feel that one’s partner must be perfect she shouldn’t change with time…( I’m sure there are girls who hold this view too..)They fail to realize that being human…he or she is bound to change with time…to become less naïve, more world weary and most importantly: different….The key is changing oneself and learning to love the new person who changes with time, who changes with you….and maybe because of you…This must be bilateral…accept the changes as inevitable…understand why they occurred…maybe you’ll be moved when you realize why she /he ahs changed this way….

The key to having a successful relationship is that whenever you start having a fight…calm down …count to ten ( or hundred…..) and then sleep over it….that has a funny way of changing the most firm of stances….The key is talking understanding and compromising…..

As for your dreams…well…maybe one day if you work hard you won’t need those glasses anymore….

PS: I can understand being unable to actually compromise and be calm and patient when the time comes for it….but hey….agree in principle at least….

PPS: It’s obvious that the fire will be brighter (and steadier) when the logs start to burn….

PPPS: Dear God…

I’m waiting for the practicals !!!