Moksha and Marriage(Well... The blog is named arbit(rary)!!)

Moksha…Yup…That’s what the doctor ordered…liberation from the cycle of life and death, which (apparently) is attained by the freedom of oneself from desires….Basically one has to want nothing…Funny huh....And here, our teachers mentors and (blech)self development professionals tell us that the key to living well is to set goals…that is …to know what we want..Try telling your Mom that you want nothing….you’ll get nothing but dry bred without any porridge(or is it the other way around) for the rest of the vacations….sheesh …life is confusing isn’t it…

What did the texts (and various sadhus and not to mention Gautam Buddha )mean by Moksha…freedom from desire…It’s all very well when people are giving you alms to listen to your famous set of Moksha lectures….can you imagine that….

Job description: Roaming the world teaching people about Moksha and renunciation

Daily takings: Well….a Stomach full and yeah...Enough cloth to cover it as well!!

Wow...is that going to make you a find in the marriage market or what..!!!

Speaking of marriage… is it a committed friendship or a friendly business partnership or just a socially accepted way to reproduce…. This is something I fear I’ll never get…on one hand….the institution of marriage (as it seems logical) was invented for the sake of limiting the sexual partners of a person for public health… ()or maybe to commit yourself to your wife/husband to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?

Or is it a way of earning money quicker…by sharing the rent and the capital goods (whose costs would be halved..: 1 washing machine, house, cooker, microwave, etc)so that one can earn and spend money effectively….but then…where did all the officialdom come in….basically the point of the matter being…why is commitment phobia a very real and very shunned social disorder…because in the end it comes to that…all of the above things can be ensured without the law having a say in it…that is except in the case of commitment phobes..And if these guys are anyway not going to have functional relationships….why the law??

And what about arranged versus love marriages….My mother and I regularly have raging arguments on this topic. My mother argues that if a person cannot find a suitable life partner within his circle of friends and associates…why; what better than some family friend (or acquaintance (smirk))No one’s forcing you to marry her…just see her, talk to her…and marry her only if you like her(sorry people for ignoring the girl’s free will….this situation is very obviously bilateral…just don’t feel like correcting it now…..I apologize to the ladies……and no, I’m not a chauvinist) And as for why one must marry….well …: one house one TV (maybe not 1 TV..) 1 washing machine !!(Yup….real practical is my Ma) And Of course …the experience of marriage is not to be missed!!!

“Ma..But it…it just seems weird …it’s very evident that free will is being eaten up at some point” I whine, partially convinced by her arguments and the large number of enormously successful arranged marriages I have seen…But...then gathering up all my revolutionary spirit and teenage angst I go on, gaining confidence as I speak, “It’s very obvious and logical that 2 people who know each other for a long time and who have met most probably because of some common interests have a greater chance of making their marriage a success than two people who have literally been thrown together…in a situation (generally) highly alien to them…After all we are talking about a pair of lovebirds and a crow +mynah couple….duh…the odds are obviously stacked on one side..”(Note: By now i have attained the size of a bull (or maybe pehle se hi?!)… Pleased at having identified the flaw in my mother’s reasoning!!) “But the fact remains that going on long walks and drives and cooing with another person (of the opposite sex…in general that is (wink)(no I’m not a homophobe either…)) is quite different from washing their underwear and doing their dishes and living with them….And that I know ….because I’m the mother and therefore older (since girls attain puberty at positive ages… !!!)(and hence wiser…)”

I am left sputtering in indignation…..

PS : I think the institution of marriage arose out of the genuine need (or rather desire) of people in love of living together…Kinda like…if people like hitting round things with flat things…you make rules and get cricket or tennis …..

PPS : I totally support the institution of marriage…I can’t help but say that for me…living with someone who I connect with...and who connects with me….working and playing as a team(as man and wife…or wife and man to make it fair(women’s lib)) is utopia……

LIFE (What you should do with it and Why??)

One day I realized.. ‘Hey…here’s a hot (and infinitely clichéd) topic I can write on…I mean…everyone has written something about life….whether in a book or on the internet or in a private diary…I can’t make that big a botch of it so….here goes…’

The first thing that strikes me is how people (a lot of them, I think.) feel that it is your moral obligation to do your bit for the world….and how other people (called classic ‘rebels’) think that you should do whatever the hell you want with your life (it’s your’s isn’t it ??)So which of them is right….On one hand it is perfectly logical that you can and should do what you enjoy in your life…After all you only get one. You should go out there and follow all your dreams…whether they be fishing at Cornwall or living out an idyllic existence as a small time farmer in Spain….irrespective of whether you have awesome analytical skills or if you can fly and shoot laser beams from your eyes…(Yes, it’s superman…sigh..)Life out your life with your friends and family and don’t create that huge laboratory that could invent safer forms of energy or create super efficient engines….

On the other hand it also seems like your duty to do what you can for the benefit of the society that you are a part of… “Society...”You argue… “What the hell did society do for me? My parents brought me up and I’m caring for them now… Screw society man…”

But the fact remains that you could have been treated much badly….Small good deeds were done which probably helped you..Remember the funda that one small event can change all of history(Like the battle of Panipat incident (death of prince which apparently altered course of battle)…or the death of Remus at Romuluses(Founding of Rome) hand and what would have happened if the fight had gone the other way…)

Who knows some small event like that gone in your favour because of someone’s good deed made you what you are…Maybe your mother almost fell during pregnancy(Mental Retardation or maybe non existence ??) and was saved by some good Samaritan or your father was saved from bankruptcy by one single client at that particular time (poverty ?)

Leaving aside these incidents which one could dismiss as bullcrap and the fantasizing of a twisted mind… (Mine !) there still remains the fact that millions of unlucky people(in terms of environment and upbringing: financial state , mental gifts or family life) lead a life of crime… killing raping mugging and conning people out of their money….thus contributing to the screwing up of normalcy in society…Who screwed with their lives..God..You say...Then who blessed you……….

One could go on and on….It is true that a man with the will can overlook the most logical arguments ever just because he is determined to do such and such a thing and damn everyone else ….he has decided… After all the words responsibility and moral duty were created by men who were after all human… with certain biases maybe and opinionated definitely…… If these words (and thus…these concepts) did not exist as rigid definitions…who knows what might have been the socially acceptable outlook…

Several other questions can be asked on the topic of life… or rather living…For example… since we do good voluntarily….having a thought process similar to…If I do good people will like me and respect me….. or I’ll go to heaven…..or I’ll be repaying my debt to society….. how are we different from the people who think…I’ll donate my wealth and be on the cover of every newspaper….or I’ll get those extra votes…. Or I’ll be perceived as ‘good’ which will work to my advantage as I will be trusted by a lot of people….

Why is gain in money or power or fame (as illustrated by the last few examples) thought of as more selfish than gain in respect or comfort in the afterlife(smirk !!) or maybe a little less red in the (guiltily ??) red moral balance sheet…..Strange huh…

And I believe that almost everything we do in this world is done with some selfish need(selfish meaning concerned with ones needs and desires…and not the traditionally deadly sin… !!)so is it true that selfishness is essentially man’s nature…. “Of course. So don’t worry!!”

And according to Ayn Rand….Egoism(as in self pride or self respect or selfishness(!!) as opposed to arrogance and egotism !) is an essential quality of the perfect man…..then who’s to say what is the absolute truth…..

Who’s to say…anyway……

COOL...

When you come to IIT you expect to meet a lot of cool people..And you do meet cool people..Not only that you also begin to realize that ‘cool’ is ambiguous,highly ambiguous actually..Because there are a lot of ‘cool’ people whose personalities seem to be at odds with each other..So which of them is the dude..Which,if any qualifies for that highly coveted title of cool.Answer:both do..they’re cool and they’re different…

So here goes nothing…..

Ladies and Gentlemen….I present to you the 9 major types of cool(ness ??)

(A)The ACADEMIC: This is the IITIAN that the profs dream of…Brilliant Organized Relaxed and Fun too...This guy actually loves the World of Science, Studies it and gets an AP…..not to mention plays a mean round of his favorite computer game.Yep, parents love him, friends admire him and wingmates are tutored by him… One helluva chap…..

(B)The G(C)OO(L)D BOY (Chicks lov’em): This is the IITian that should’ve been..The IITian that IITians would love to be….Smart Organised Talented at Music Drama or Art (or maybe all three)Yep he lazes around,yep he plays the drums…but according to a schedule…..Everything has a time slot in his timetable and that timetable is strictly followed. May not really love the subject..But hey rules is rules na ?? Everything is done seriously, with an intention of excelling at it..Good grades…President of the Drama Club and sportsperson par excellence…

(C)The GENIUS: This is the guy who is Brilliant Relaxed and has an IQ surpassing that of Einstein…Lazes around indefinitely, Does his extra curriculars and reads and plays besides….Not only that, he also manages to get decent grades despite some screw ups..The Academic and the Good boy are slightly in awe of him…..and the rest worship him as GOD himself….

(D)The DRUNK: This is another guy highly respected by his peers and unknown to his profs…The guy who drinks smokes does drugs and watches sitcoms all day…Here is a guy that can name all the episode names of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and besides knows trivia about Courtney Cox’s haircut…..Has an enormous capacity for all known stimulants and some besides and somehow just avoids flunking that tough Math course…

(E)The ‘LAY AROUND AND DO NOTHING GUY’: This Guy is a stud…The genius and the Academic admit it, The Good Boy can’t see it because his grades belie the fact that this guy is a ‘genius that could’ve been’ Yep does nothing all day reading books and making weird home movies and lighting aerosol cans…..But he picks up things quick as any one…..well… why doesn’t he..Dunno.Can‘t get inside his head that’s for sure….

(F)The POLTU Guy: This is the guy to know…By slight acquaintances (like “my cousin’s friend said”...And “oh… remember that guy from your school; well he’s my sister’s boyfriend” and the like) he happens to know every senior worth knowing and can wheedle people into doing him ‘little’ favors ….A future Pawar…worth knowing people…and cool cause he’s seen eating and drinking with da big shots…..(who’s paying…I don’t know… !!)

(G)The LADIES MAN: This guy is the analogue of the iron that’s rubbed along the magnet so many times…it starts attracting pins (no sexual innuendo believe me..)

He knows all the chicks…Who’s going out with who…who’s flunked what subject….And most importantly …. Who’s hot and who’s not (ladies eye view)…

45 -50 % of the time he’s this effeminate dude with the affected manner and pink tights….but hey you get all kinds…You can’t miss him…Actually you don’t want to…

(H)The YOUNGER BROTHER: Younger Brothers of influential seniors are cool (hmmmm…..??)Period

(I)The JOCK: GOAL !!!! or maybe SIX !!! or even…WHAT A SMASH BAYBIEEE!!

Yep welcome to the Olympics...This guy can (surprisingly) play table tennis squash and football all morning and then run the 6 mile crossy in the evening without breaking a sweat…Acads…Screw that man…he’s COOL………..

The MUSICIAN, The VIDEOGRAPHER The ‘GUY WHO EATS PARANTHAS LIKE THEY WERE SMALL BITS OF ROCK CANDY’ are some of the other cool(nesses ??).

But hey the most important is..The ‘GUY WHO WROTE ALL THIS STUFF CAUSE HE NEEDED TO JUSTIFY HIS POOR GRADES’ He’s the coolest……

…..Not to mention the partridge in a pear tree !!!

Ciao